Kara and Kekoa, Kristy & Lilyana, girls group in DC, haven in St. Augustine, FSLF small groups with Senator Hill

Matt & Kath's wedding photos, Grand Final, celebrating Jets win, with Charisma in DC

Brooke's Transition Update - Spring/Fall 2008

Brooke’s Transition Update – Spring/Fall 2008 – March 29, 2008

Greetings friends,
I write this as a spring/fall update, because depending on the part of the world you are in – you have just entered either season. I am seemingly escaping the autumn and winter as I have translated myself out of the southern hemisphere just as the temps were beginning to drop and even though the end of February/beginning of March in the northern hemisphere was a bit of a shock, now with the temperatures rising and the fact I am back in my home state of Florida – I am glad to be on this side of the globe.

Mark 13:28
“Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near.”

Well friends, there is much to report from the past two months and I want to thank all of you for your prayers and support during my time of discernment about coming back to the US and even in all the questions I am currently sorting out. I did listen to that still, small voice and the voices of some wise counselors in Australia and decided to come home to the US for a while and be with people who have known me longer than a year to gain some perspective and seek out prayer partners for me in this season. I began talking about seasons at the beginning of this update because the season I am currently in is not one I am very familiar or comfortable with – not in the natural, but in the spiritual in many ways I am in a season of winter. Kris Vallotton, a pastor out of northern California speaks of winter as a season when fruit does not come forth and the roots are required to dig down deep. Although the tree may look very ugly in this season, if the roots didn’t dig down deep there would be no season of fruitfulness when the summer comes. Likewise, in my journey, I am seeking in this season to rest in the Lord and also to re-connect, particularly with my family and continue to do the hard work of healing some past hurts that I have held onto for far too long and allow my roots to go down deep with the Lord. I have to believe in this season that for this work to be done, when the season changes more fruitfulness will ultimately result. It is difficult however to be still and to do the hard work on the inside of me, or rather to give up to the Lord the deep places of pain that still exist and allow Him to do the hard work of bringing them to the light and healing – as only He can. I feel this urgency that if I don’t use this season, as it has been given me, then I won’t be able to get to where I desire to be used with regards to help others who are broken in their healing processes. Please, pray with me that I would rest in the Lord in this season where I don’t feel very pretty, like the winter trees, and that I wouldn’t try to be beautiful or worry about not producing fruit or what others are thinking, but that I would rest in His provision and protection. That this season would accomplish all He desires it to, as He has wooed me back to the US for such a time as this.

2 Peter 1:3
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

So the journey continues on. I booked an around the world ticket in order to come back to the US, as it was only $50 more than a roundtrip ticket to DC and left from Australia on the 29th of February. My last month in Australia was filled with wonderful moments with friends – my 28th birthday celebrations, spending time with the Saxton children as their parents were at the US National Prayer Breakfast, Valentine’s Day with Brendan, Matt and Kath’s wedding, the Newcastle Jets winning the Grand Final (like the Super Bowl for Australian soccer) and also great work experience at Opportunity International. It was a great time to reflect and consider so much of what I had learned and gleaned from my 13 months in Australia and to determine if I desired to come back. Brendan and I decided indeed that I would try and come back, but would take a few months for me to return to the US, reconnect with friends and family, discern next steps and then I would travel a bit before hopefully returning on a new visa to Australia. It is new territory for us both to attempt to walk forward together amidst many different opportunities and discerning God’s voice for us individually, and prayerfully, together.

2 Peter 2:8 & 9
“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

Today marks my one month of traveling and being outside Australia. I first landed in San Francisco on this trip and had the pleasure of being hosted by different friends, particularly my friend Laura who had visited me in Sydney in November. During my week in northern California, I was able to reflect and pray with many different people who have encouraged my journey over the past several years. Including, my former roommate and co-worker from the SEWH – Elise and her husband Josh; my former co-worker Julie and boss Pastor Jackson from Uganda; spend time with Laura and many of her prayer friends as well as our mutual friend Maria’s sister Liz from England; and Pastor Terry and Mary Inman whom I had connected with during a trip to Uganda and California a year and a half ago. Each interaction was very significant, and although it was a full time, it felt restful and a good first stop on my US tour. From there, I flew to Washington, DC – my former home for four and a half years and had the incredible privilege of immediately going on my church retreat. Part of what had influenced me to come back to the US in this season was a very caring e-mail I received from my pastor in DC at Church of the Rez. The e-mail reminded me of how much I had missed my church and the community I had known through it during my time in Australia. It was wonderful to re-connect with that community and witness the way it has grown since I have been gone. Not only with new members, but also out of the unions God has brought together with new marriages, pregnancies and births. It was a joyous time and also very significant as the theme of the weekend was Weaknesses (Ours) and Strengths (Jesus’). I felt profoundly ministered to by being able to admit the place of insecurity I was in and to admit my desperate need of Jesus’ strength in my situation. Pastor Dan spoke about the similarity of the Pharisees and our church in terms of buying into the lie that we are strong and independent – as our culture says we are. We are, as he says, part of the cult of the strong. Until we recognize our full dependence on God we won’t be able to fully enter into all that He has for us and this can only come through prayer. I found such freedom in this teaching and the time that was allotted for us to share with one another honestly where we were at and beseech God for healing. It is where I am at and am finding joy in looking to Him through unveiled eyes and surrendered hands in this season. The rest of my trip to DC was the whirlwind I knew it would be. I was able to stay at the Southeast White House for part of my stay and see so many of the beautiful children (who have grown up so much!), including my mentee Charisma. I was able to connect with staff current and former there and hear more of the vision God is putting forth for the neighborhood. I was also able to catch up with old college friends living in the area and meet new additions to their families – little Mia, Lucca, Dante and Kekoa along with Sophia. I was also able to pray, pray, pray with so many groups I have missed so much – Prayer for the City, Prayer for Latin America, attend a Perspectives class and attend so many small gatherings and be with so many beautiful relationships that in some ways being far from home I had stuffed far within my heart so that I wouldn’t remember and be missing them all the time. And of course, along with all of this came all the breakfast, lunch, coffee and dinner dates I had with people and different houses I stayed out experiencing the full hospitality of the DC/Virginia/Baltimore region. Thank you to Cricket and John, Dominic and Mary, Chris and Danni, Allison, Britney and Laura and everyone else who welcomed me into their home in the past few weeks.

“As long as we relate primarily to each other's wealth, health, stability, intelligence, and soul strength, we cannot develop true community. Community is not a talent show in which we dazzle the world with our combined gifts. Community is the place where our poverty is acknowledged and accepted, not as something we have to learn to cope with as best as we can but as a true source of new life.”
– Henri Nouwen

Then, I returned to the state of my birth and to the city that sent me out as an ambassadorial scholar, Jacksonville, Florida. Since being in Jacksonville, I have been spending time with my mom and step-dad Dan and seeking to be with them and learn about what God has been doing in and through them in their ministry. My mom is the chaplain at the North East Florida State Hospital for the mentally ill and together with Dan they minister many places around the region – including to prisons, different evangelistic outreaches and networking many small ministries around the city and the world together under the banner IAM (Independent Apostolic Ministries) International. It has been great to see their hearts and experience their love and that of their friends by attending one of their meetings last Friday night and be prayed for by their friends and going to Easter service together. My mom and I were also able to go together down to St. Augustine and visit some of my friends from my Flagler days and re-visit some of my old spots for some prayer and reflection. It has been a blessing. However, in me some deep wounds have been shown to need healing with my mom’s help. I have been realizing more the depth of the ugliness and rawness of the pain in me that has not been dealt with. What I have been especially dealing with is memories of the past that are painful that I have said I have forgiven, but I haven’t forgotten and have brought up in the past week or so in anger or in self-pity. It hasn’t been a helpful or healing process to remember these things. I have been struggling in some ways to not only forgive these things but wrestling with how much I forgive myself for the past also and how much do I believe God really forgives me. It is very poignant that all of this was emerging particularly on Easter Sunday when, as Christians we celebrate that Jesus was raised up – victorious over death and the grave and that because He died and took all of our sin (that is all that we have done and will ever do) and rose again – it is finished. The Bible says our sins are forgotten – they are removed as far as the east is from the west. So, when I repent, God forgets. However, I seem to have allowed this remembrance, not only my sins, but also the sins of others. When I am with my family it is like the accuser of the saints is shouting in my ear especially loud that our sins are so bad that I have to bring them up (I know ridiculous!), then I feel so bad about my bringing it up because inevitably reconciliation, which is my spirit in being with my family feels like it gets thwarted. Of course this makes sense because the enemy wants to steal, kill and destroy us. I am beginning to claim the truth and what scripture says is true. I am learning to seek to relate in new way, taking captive these lies that seek to divide me from my family, that I believe loves me so much and claim the truth of that and who God is and the power there and forget the past, letting it go and asking God to help us relate in new ways, seeing how He wants this healing to take place. It is a big job, but with God all things are possible and I do appreciate your prayers as I continue to walk through this season with my family. I will be with my mom just a few more days but then will travel to Punta Gorda, my hometown to be with my brother and dad and step-mom and I am encouraged at the journey.

1 Peter 4:8
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Besides this family time, I also have the honor of re-connecting with the Jacksonville Rotary Club that sponsored me for the Ambassadorial Scholarship and my Sponsor Bill Bainbridge and his wife Linda hosted me last week at their home. We were able to enjoy great fellowship with each other and I will be speaking at the Rotary Club of Jacksonville meeting this coming Monday and thanking the club in person for their amazing investment into my life by sending me to Australia to study. This time in Florida also coincided with the Florida Student Leadership Forum on Faith and Values in Tallahassee. The FSLF was such a profound tool for shaping me and influencing me to move to Washington, primarily through my relationship with Grace Nelson and I was so excited to be able to participate again. I had not been back to the forum since 2003 and I was actually able to co-facilitate with Grace this year (US Senator Bill Nelson’s wife) and glean again many important principles from her. An added joy was also connecting with her daughter, and my friend, Nan Ellen by being able to commute from Jacksonville to Tallahassee together for the Forum. I loved being able to connect with students from around the state as well as the Bahamas and see what they are thinking about, struggling with, and how the leadership of Jesus touches their minds and hearts and begins new ideas and relationships for them. It is always an honor to get to know students and to invest what I have been given back into pliable lives. I know I have been given much, and delight to give back, even as I am very much still on the journey myself.

I am amazed at all that has happened this past month, as I have written it all out to you. Thank you again for keeping track of this journey with me and for your prayers. I believe God can and will accomplish in our lives what He set out to accomplish, and what I am seeking to walk in is the obedience of what He asks me to do. Please pray that I hear clearly and follow only His voice. I have seen amazing open doors since arriving back into the US and it confirms to me that I am to be here for this season. If I keep the tickets as I have them, I will be leaving the US to head to Europe and from there west to Australia on August 1st. But my plans between now and then are not firm. I pray blessings and peace to all of you. Be encouraged wherever you are at in your journey of walking by faith.

All my love, and to see photos, go to: www.brookesintladventures.blogspot.com

Brooke

Queensland Trip January 2008

Sydney Christmas - my tree house, Brendan's family gathering & Hillsong Kids presents